This Bag O' Popcorn

I have never been so amused by a bag of popcorn in my entire life. I do not know if it is the stress of finals week, or sleep deprivation, or me just being me. Probably a combination of all three at this point. Any whom. First off, it says whole grain popping corn. Can you have non-whole grain popping corn? I don't think so. I mean, its a kernel of corn. I would not even know how to take something so simple and make it not. Are they that desperate to appeal to those who are trying to be healthy? Second, it says pop me in the microwave. Well yes, bag of popcorn, do you think I am going to set you out in the snow and hope that a miracle happens. I know sometimes things don't always appear that logical. The only alternative I could think of cooking this bag of popcorn is in the oven and I don't know about you, but if I want popcorn, I want it soon. Like now. Then it says don't attempt to eat the unpopped kernels due to the fact that it might damage your teeth. If one has never experienced the biting of an unpopped kernel, I think that they will try it to spite you. There are those people out there. Sometimes, I am that person. I do not know why I found this bag of popping corn so intriguing, but I did and I felt the need to share. Enjoy.