Here's to failed New Year's Resolutions

I swear every year people make the same damn resolutions because somewhere along the road they forget what they wanted to do the previous year. Its strong for about a month, maybe and then poof. I honestly don't know why people wait until the end of the year (or the beginning I suppose) to "change their lives." What is different about tonight and tomorrow than any other day of the year? It is NEVER EVER to late to decide to make a change in your life. EVER. If you decide to make a resolution, make like one or two MANAGEABLE resolutions that don't require drastic changes to your life because odds are if it requires a huge change it will probably fail. If you are going to make a change, make a reminder to yourself so you can stay on track. It is most definitely not the end of the world if you fall off the bandwagon. Just remember why you wanted to change in the first place and allow that to be your motivation. Your biggest obstacle is yourself and you need to overcome yourself before you can conquer the world. Change can be a scary place, but don't let that stop you from doing it. That change could possibly be the thing that leads you to your utopia.

Watching Butter Melt

You know what I find kind of interesting for about 30 seconds? Watching butter melt. I don't know why it was so fascinating today. My father put butter in the microwave in some clear dishes and I just stared at it as it melted and I just thought it was the coolest thing ever. It was so amazing to watch the transformation from solid to liquid as it just melted as it spun on the turntable in the microwave. A strange fascination, I know. The butter just melted before my eyes like magic! How nifty!?

And this is the point where I realize I am really strange and have some weird quirks. To say the least, I'd rather watch butter melt than watch paint dry. And yes I have done that as well.

Awkward Family Gatherings

     Talk about some awkward situations. I swear family gatherings manifest in some of the most awkward, more or less, uncomfortable situations I find myself in. Sometimes I find myself in situations where a family member goes, "Oh Wow, I haven't seen you in years. You've gotten so big!" Then you know, the awkward laugh comes followed by, "Yah, I know its been a really long time." Usually after that I secretly go to one of my parents and go, "Psst, who was that." I do not think there is an appropriate way to react in that situation.
     Another awkward thing is having to go to your significant others' family holiday tradition. Not only do you not know probably half of the people there, you have to cling next to your person because you have no idea who anyone else is. Even once you get passed that and you do know who some people are, it can get even worse, because the family gets super comfortable about asking you anything and everything. It is probably not awkward for everyone, but then again I am clearly not everyone else. I just find family gatherings to be a prime opportunity to embarrass myself.

Butterfly

Be more than you let yourself think.

If you could only imagine
how beautiful your soul is
no matter how broken you think it is
Someday someone will come
and put glue around the cracks
and make you feel whole again
If they don't
Go to the store and buy it yourself.
The one person to make yourself happy
is you.
You can never leave yourself.
Focus on a different perspective
And try to escape your thoughts
if only for a little while.
Or try to find someone or something
that makes you forget.
Because once something is forgotten
for so long,
it finally can start to disappear
and you can grow from a miserable caterpillar
into a beautiful butterfly
waiting to go explore all of the happiness
you've missed out on for all of theses years.
Go on my beautiful butterfly.
Explore and forget the evil
even if just for one second.

Garth's road trip home for Christmas

Oh what an adventure today has been. I went home for the Christmas festivities today and of course I had to take Garth with me on this journey. He has actually gotten better since his first trip to Indy. He does this thing where he likes to sit on my head rest as I drive. Safe? Probably not. Viva la vida loca I suppose. I was actually surprised today when he feel asleep up there! It was actually kinda nifty. All I did was rub his ears and he was out. He does tend to roam around my body like a jungle gym when I am trying to drive. He will look out the window and then try to steer the car and then climb on my head, lather, rinse, repeat.  I must say that this little guy has gotten me through a lot of tough times this semester and I could not be more thankful that I decided to go up to the animal shelter and adopt him. Being that it is Christmas, my mom got him a little cat climbing tree so how he has something else to climb on other than my leg!

A Hippie without the pot

I don't know how many times as of late I have been called a hippie. I mean, I kinda am besides the fact that I don't do drugs. I try to keep my life as natural as possible and I am slowly transitioning into making everything my self, from soaps and detergents to the way I 'wash' my hair. Recently I got called a hippie cos I don't wash my hair in the traditional sense. I started only washing my hair once a week with various things found in my kitchen. Yes, you read that correctly. I was using a combination of baking soda for a cleanser and a dilute of apple cider vinegar for a conditioner. I have been reading up on these methods and have learned that baking soda can have damaging effects if used frequently for a long period of time. Using it as a way to get rid of build up from hard water about once a month should not have too many repercussions. I have also used a mixture of honey and water when my hair feels a little dry. My current concoction was made up of tea. Tea has fantastic moisturizing effects and can help clean your hair. Adding honey can also add moisture. The tea has also been known to help stop shedding and promote hair growth. A couple drops of tea tree oil can also help with build up and cleansing of the hair follicles. It has been 5 weeks since I last used shampoo. My hair feels much better and softer  now. Since I have hard water I purchased a shower head filter and that seems to have helped as well. I am still experimenting with different mixtures of ingredients to see what my hair likes best. It really is personalized to your hair type. Not one no-shampooing method is universal. Call me a dirty hippie, I don't care. I am just gonna do me and you do you.

Peace.

This Bag O' Popcorn

I have never been so amused by a bag of popcorn in my entire life. I do not know if it is the stress of finals week, or sleep deprivation, or me just being me. Probably a combination of all three at this point. Any whom. First off, it says whole grain popping corn. Can you have non-whole grain popping corn? I don't think so. I mean, its a kernel of corn. I would not even know how to take something so simple and make it not. Are they that desperate to appeal to those who are trying to be healthy? Second, it says pop me in the microwave. Well yes, bag of popcorn, do you think I am going to set you out in the snow and hope that a miracle happens. I know sometimes things don't always appear that logical. The only alternative I could think of cooking this bag of popcorn is in the oven and I don't know about you, but if I want popcorn, I want it soon. Like now. Then it says don't attempt to eat the unpopped kernels due to the fact that it might damage your teeth. If one has never experienced the biting of an unpopped kernel, I think that they will try it to spite you. There are those people out there. Sometimes, I am that person. I do not know why I found this bag of popping corn so intriguing, but I did and I felt the need to share. Enjoy.

Raised side walks: Did you mean the Devil's creation?

     I swear sidewalks are out to get me as I walk through campus. Every time I go to campus, I trip over the sidewalks. Nothing is more embarrassing than trying to walk all confident and stuff, to then trip over a little raised part of the side walk. There is no way to actually avoid your reaction afterwards either. How do you even react? I usually just look down at the ground as if some monster had just grabbed my leg and made me stumble and then act like nothing everrrrr happened. Although clearly 50 other people just saw me trip. Even though they could probably care less that I just did.
     I've seen other people trip over the sidewalks to and their reactions are kind of funny if you pay attention. The other day I was walking around campus and I saw this guy trip over a raised part of the side walk. After he had tripped, he did this run-walk thing in order to catch his balance. He then proceeded to mumble a few words I could not make out as he looked back at the sidewalk with pure disgust. Needless to say, the stupid sidewalks will be the death of me and I am only waiting for the day where I completely fall on my face, because it will happen eventually.

Today I went on an adventure

     Today I went on adventure with me, myself, I, and my camera. I went exploring around the wonderful town of Indianapolis and found out some really nifty places that I would have never discovered had I not gone out and searched for the unknown. I was not searching for anything in particular other than an adventure to feed the fire that has a burning desire to explore. The cool thing about going on adventures by yourself is that you don't have any one else complaining  about the things that you are doing or that they are tired. You can just go and do your thing for a couple of hours. On my little expedition today, I found this place called Yogulatte. It is a froyo coffee shop. HOW MUCH MORE PERFECT COULD THIS GET. Tea and froyo, yes. The fact that I just happened upon this place made it all the better. I found various other places and coffee shops that I want eventually visit and revisit on other days of adventure. On my exploration, I eventually ended up at the Circle down town where they have this thing called the Circle of Lights and its just a bunch of lights that make it look like a Christmas tree. It seems just like such a happy place, and dammit I wanted to be happy so I went and saw pretty lights and went on happy explorative adventures and just did whatever the heck I wanted. And now I am ending my day in a coffee shop called Mo' Joes with a my good friend Fatima just a chit-chatting away and being completely unproductive because sometimes we just need that in life. We all just need to find our niche and do things that make us happy because at the end, you don't want to regret the things you should have done but didn't. Don't let life get in the way, let it lead your path to happiness. I could not think of a better way to spend my day.

Sock Puppets

     I have pretty much been kind strange my whole life. When I was younger, like 2-4 years old, I used to suck my thumb. A lot. I could not break my habit. So what did my parents do, they put socks on my hands to try to help stop that habit. Then it was game on. I decided these socks on my hands were more than just that. I turned them into sock puppets. Just picture it. It went from preventative measures to child amusements. Luckily, one day I just decided that I was not going to suck my thumb any more and I took them off, declaring such, and never sucked my thumb again.

For Once I Was Selfish

Ya know, this whole being selfish thing kind of sucks. Sometimes what you need to do to eventually live the life that you have in mind, you have to do what is best for you. In the process, the ones you have tried so hard to keep happy and sacrifice your happiness for end up getting hurt. And that just really sucks. I guess the whole point of being selfish is doing what YOU need to do and what is going to make you happy because the ultimate goal is to make yourself happy.
When you have been used to making other people so happy for all of your life, it is really hard to let go and do something for you for once. I think it shows growth though. You have to make so yourself so uncomfortable with a decision that causes so much pain to someone else. In the process you end up hurt. I'm sure eventually things work how with how they are supposed to, but either way you are unhappy at some point, so I guess sooner is better than later in this case. You do not want to end up later in life regretting not doing the things you wanted to do in order to please someone else. Because once you sacrifice long term happiness you end up with resentment. No one wants to be in a relationship filled with that crap. Focusing on the here and now does not let you visualize the big life picture. Embrace the suckiness and know that if things were are to happen they shall. Life has a funny way of doing whatever the hell it wants regardless of your decisions because one way or another things find their way back.

Fear

Toxic soul.
Toxic mind.
Too afraid
to leave behind
what she has known
for all this time
She's scared.
She's hurt.
She's all alone
headed into
the world unknown.

When the Automatic Door Hit Me...At School

     One day at school, I was walking through a tunnel that connects to the Campus Center. The tunnel has automatic doors that open when the handicap button is push. I was so focused on anything other than the opening and closing of said door, but out of my peripherals, I could see that the door was open. Not once did it cross my mind that the door could, I don't know, CLOSE. Right as I got into the doorway, BANG. The door smacked me and I almost fell over, book bag and all. It only made it worse that it was a busier time of day and I was walking to the campus center so I am sure a multitude of people saw. What did I do next? I did what I normally do of course and look around to see if anyone noticed what just happened, looked back at the door and acted as if it never happened. Graceful as always.

Alton Brown and Pessimism

First off,  an engineering joke:

          Optimists say the glass is half full. Pessimists say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Ba-dum-chhss.

     Now on to what I really want to talk about. I was watching a Speaker's Broadcast given by Alton Brown to a large group of college students. He talked about various different ways to be successful and things he has done in life and his attitude towards it that has allowed him to be successful. One thing I found quite peculiar was his perspective on Pessimism. He is very much a pessimist and see's nothing wrong with it. He actually almost embraces it. Being the fellow pessimist that I am, I paid close attention to the following things he had to say.

      He put it something like this: Pessimists always expect the worst to happen. When the worst does not happen it is wonderful. Optimists, on the other hand, have to constantly live with disappointment. They expect these wonderful things to happen and sometimes they just don't. 

     I, of course, could not do the description justice compared to Alton Brown, but I think you can get the idea. I just found this thought so very interesting. Instead of bringing the negative connotation to being a pessimist, he took a positive spin on it and embraces it. Being a pessimist is not faulty wiring, but rather a different perspective of the world.