Here's to failed New Year's Resolutions

I swear every year people make the same damn resolutions because somewhere along the road they forget what they wanted to do the previous year. Its strong for about a month, maybe and then poof. I honestly don't know why people wait until the end of the year (or the beginning I suppose) to "change their lives." What is different about tonight and tomorrow than any other day of the year? It is NEVER EVER to late to decide to make a change in your life. EVER. If you decide to make a resolution, make like one or two MANAGEABLE resolutions that don't require drastic changes to your life because odds are if it requires a huge change it will probably fail. If you are going to make a change, make a reminder to yourself so you can stay on track. It is most definitely not the end of the world if you fall off the bandwagon. Just remember why you wanted to change in the first place and allow that to be your motivation. Your biggest obstacle is yourself and you need to overcome yourself before you can conquer the world. Change can be a scary place, but don't let that stop you from doing it. That change could possibly be the thing that leads you to your utopia.

Watching Butter Melt

You know what I find kind of interesting for about 30 seconds? Watching butter melt. I don't know why it was so fascinating today. My father put butter in the microwave in some clear dishes and I just stared at it as it melted and I just thought it was the coolest thing ever. It was so amazing to watch the transformation from solid to liquid as it just melted as it spun on the turntable in the microwave. A strange fascination, I know. The butter just melted before my eyes like magic! How nifty!?

And this is the point where I realize I am really strange and have some weird quirks. To say the least, I'd rather watch butter melt than watch paint dry. And yes I have done that as well.

Awkward Family Gatherings

     Talk about some awkward situations. I swear family gatherings manifest in some of the most awkward, more or less, uncomfortable situations I find myself in. Sometimes I find myself in situations where a family member goes, "Oh Wow, I haven't seen you in years. You've gotten so big!" Then you know, the awkward laugh comes followed by, "Yah, I know its been a really long time." Usually after that I secretly go to one of my parents and go, "Psst, who was that." I do not think there is an appropriate way to react in that situation.
     Another awkward thing is having to go to your significant others' family holiday tradition. Not only do you not know probably half of the people there, you have to cling next to your person because you have no idea who anyone else is. Even once you get passed that and you do know who some people are, it can get even worse, because the family gets super comfortable about asking you anything and everything. It is probably not awkward for everyone, but then again I am clearly not everyone else. I just find family gatherings to be a prime opportunity to embarrass myself.

Butterfly

Be more than you let yourself think.

If you could only imagine
how beautiful your soul is
no matter how broken you think it is
Someday someone will come
and put glue around the cracks
and make you feel whole again
If they don't
Go to the store and buy it yourself.
The one person to make yourself happy
is you.
You can never leave yourself.
Focus on a different perspective
And try to escape your thoughts
if only for a little while.
Or try to find someone or something
that makes you forget.
Because once something is forgotten
for so long,
it finally can start to disappear
and you can grow from a miserable caterpillar
into a beautiful butterfly
waiting to go explore all of the happiness
you've missed out on for all of theses years.
Go on my beautiful butterfly.
Explore and forget the evil
even if just for one second.

Garth's road trip home for Christmas

Oh what an adventure today has been. I went home for the Christmas festivities today and of course I had to take Garth with me on this journey. He has actually gotten better since his first trip to Indy. He does this thing where he likes to sit on my head rest as I drive. Safe? Probably not. Viva la vida loca I suppose. I was actually surprised today when he feel asleep up there! It was actually kinda nifty. All I did was rub his ears and he was out. He does tend to roam around my body like a jungle gym when I am trying to drive. He will look out the window and then try to steer the car and then climb on my head, lather, rinse, repeat.  I must say that this little guy has gotten me through a lot of tough times this semester and I could not be more thankful that I decided to go up to the animal shelter and adopt him. Being that it is Christmas, my mom got him a little cat climbing tree so how he has something else to climb on other than my leg!

A Hippie without the pot

I don't know how many times as of late I have been called a hippie. I mean, I kinda am besides the fact that I don't do drugs. I try to keep my life as natural as possible and I am slowly transitioning into making everything my self, from soaps and detergents to the way I 'wash' my hair. Recently I got called a hippie cos I don't wash my hair in the traditional sense. I started only washing my hair once a week with various things found in my kitchen. Yes, you read that correctly. I was using a combination of baking soda for a cleanser and a dilute of apple cider vinegar for a conditioner. I have been reading up on these methods and have learned that baking soda can have damaging effects if used frequently for a long period of time. Using it as a way to get rid of build up from hard water about once a month should not have too many repercussions. I have also used a mixture of honey and water when my hair feels a little dry. My current concoction was made up of tea. Tea has fantastic moisturizing effects and can help clean your hair. Adding honey can also add moisture. The tea has also been known to help stop shedding and promote hair growth. A couple drops of tea tree oil can also help with build up and cleansing of the hair follicles. It has been 5 weeks since I last used shampoo. My hair feels much better and softer  now. Since I have hard water I purchased a shower head filter and that seems to have helped as well. I am still experimenting with different mixtures of ingredients to see what my hair likes best. It really is personalized to your hair type. Not one no-shampooing method is universal. Call me a dirty hippie, I don't care. I am just gonna do me and you do you.

Peace.

This Bag O' Popcorn

I have never been so amused by a bag of popcorn in my entire life. I do not know if it is the stress of finals week, or sleep deprivation, or me just being me. Probably a combination of all three at this point. Any whom. First off, it says whole grain popping corn. Can you have non-whole grain popping corn? I don't think so. I mean, its a kernel of corn. I would not even know how to take something so simple and make it not. Are they that desperate to appeal to those who are trying to be healthy? Second, it says pop me in the microwave. Well yes, bag of popcorn, do you think I am going to set you out in the snow and hope that a miracle happens. I know sometimes things don't always appear that logical. The only alternative I could think of cooking this bag of popcorn is in the oven and I don't know about you, but if I want popcorn, I want it soon. Like now. Then it says don't attempt to eat the unpopped kernels due to the fact that it might damage your teeth. If one has never experienced the biting of an unpopped kernel, I think that they will try it to spite you. There are those people out there. Sometimes, I am that person. I do not know why I found this bag of popping corn so intriguing, but I did and I felt the need to share. Enjoy.

Raised side walks: Did you mean the Devil's creation?

     I swear sidewalks are out to get me as I walk through campus. Every time I go to campus, I trip over the sidewalks. Nothing is more embarrassing than trying to walk all confident and stuff, to then trip over a little raised part of the side walk. There is no way to actually avoid your reaction afterwards either. How do you even react? I usually just look down at the ground as if some monster had just grabbed my leg and made me stumble and then act like nothing everrrrr happened. Although clearly 50 other people just saw me trip. Even though they could probably care less that I just did.
     I've seen other people trip over the sidewalks to and their reactions are kind of funny if you pay attention. The other day I was walking around campus and I saw this guy trip over a raised part of the side walk. After he had tripped, he did this run-walk thing in order to catch his balance. He then proceeded to mumble a few words I could not make out as he looked back at the sidewalk with pure disgust. Needless to say, the stupid sidewalks will be the death of me and I am only waiting for the day where I completely fall on my face, because it will happen eventually.

Today I went on an adventure

     Today I went on adventure with me, myself, I, and my camera. I went exploring around the wonderful town of Indianapolis and found out some really nifty places that I would have never discovered had I not gone out and searched for the unknown. I was not searching for anything in particular other than an adventure to feed the fire that has a burning desire to explore. The cool thing about going on adventures by yourself is that you don't have any one else complaining  about the things that you are doing or that they are tired. You can just go and do your thing for a couple of hours. On my little expedition today, I found this place called Yogulatte. It is a froyo coffee shop. HOW MUCH MORE PERFECT COULD THIS GET. Tea and froyo, yes. The fact that I just happened upon this place made it all the better. I found various other places and coffee shops that I want eventually visit and revisit on other days of adventure. On my exploration, I eventually ended up at the Circle down town where they have this thing called the Circle of Lights and its just a bunch of lights that make it look like a Christmas tree. It seems just like such a happy place, and dammit I wanted to be happy so I went and saw pretty lights and went on happy explorative adventures and just did whatever the heck I wanted. And now I am ending my day in a coffee shop called Mo' Joes with a my good friend Fatima just a chit-chatting away and being completely unproductive because sometimes we just need that in life. We all just need to find our niche and do things that make us happy because at the end, you don't want to regret the things you should have done but didn't. Don't let life get in the way, let it lead your path to happiness. I could not think of a better way to spend my day.

Sock Puppets

     I have pretty much been kind strange my whole life. When I was younger, like 2-4 years old, I used to suck my thumb. A lot. I could not break my habit. So what did my parents do, they put socks on my hands to try to help stop that habit. Then it was game on. I decided these socks on my hands were more than just that. I turned them into sock puppets. Just picture it. It went from preventative measures to child amusements. Luckily, one day I just decided that I was not going to suck my thumb any more and I took them off, declaring such, and never sucked my thumb again.

For Once I Was Selfish

Ya know, this whole being selfish thing kind of sucks. Sometimes what you need to do to eventually live the life that you have in mind, you have to do what is best for you. In the process, the ones you have tried so hard to keep happy and sacrifice your happiness for end up getting hurt. And that just really sucks. I guess the whole point of being selfish is doing what YOU need to do and what is going to make you happy because the ultimate goal is to make yourself happy.
When you have been used to making other people so happy for all of your life, it is really hard to let go and do something for you for once. I think it shows growth though. You have to make so yourself so uncomfortable with a decision that causes so much pain to someone else. In the process you end up hurt. I'm sure eventually things work how with how they are supposed to, but either way you are unhappy at some point, so I guess sooner is better than later in this case. You do not want to end up later in life regretting not doing the things you wanted to do in order to please someone else. Because once you sacrifice long term happiness you end up with resentment. No one wants to be in a relationship filled with that crap. Focusing on the here and now does not let you visualize the big life picture. Embrace the suckiness and know that if things were are to happen they shall. Life has a funny way of doing whatever the hell it wants regardless of your decisions because one way or another things find their way back.

Fear

Toxic soul.
Toxic mind.
Too afraid
to leave behind
what she has known
for all this time
She's scared.
She's hurt.
She's all alone
headed into
the world unknown.

When the Automatic Door Hit Me...At School

     One day at school, I was walking through a tunnel that connects to the Campus Center. The tunnel has automatic doors that open when the handicap button is push. I was so focused on anything other than the opening and closing of said door, but out of my peripherals, I could see that the door was open. Not once did it cross my mind that the door could, I don't know, CLOSE. Right as I got into the doorway, BANG. The door smacked me and I almost fell over, book bag and all. It only made it worse that it was a busier time of day and I was walking to the campus center so I am sure a multitude of people saw. What did I do next? I did what I normally do of course and look around to see if anyone noticed what just happened, looked back at the door and acted as if it never happened. Graceful as always.

Alton Brown and Pessimism

First off,  an engineering joke:

          Optimists say the glass is half full. Pessimists say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Ba-dum-chhss.

     Now on to what I really want to talk about. I was watching a Speaker's Broadcast given by Alton Brown to a large group of college students. He talked about various different ways to be successful and things he has done in life and his attitude towards it that has allowed him to be successful. One thing I found quite peculiar was his perspective on Pessimism. He is very much a pessimist and see's nothing wrong with it. He actually almost embraces it. Being the fellow pessimist that I am, I paid close attention to the following things he had to say.

      He put it something like this: Pessimists always expect the worst to happen. When the worst does not happen it is wonderful. Optimists, on the other hand, have to constantly live with disappointment. They expect these wonderful things to happen and sometimes they just don't. 

     I, of course, could not do the description justice compared to Alton Brown, but I think you can get the idea. I just found this thought so very interesting. Instead of bringing the negative connotation to being a pessimist, he took a positive spin on it and embraces it. Being a pessimist is not faulty wiring, but rather a different perspective of the world. 

Listen Once in a While

     Listen when someone is trying to share their dreams and aspirations. Nothing hurts more than trying to talk about something that you find truly interesting only to be shot down by disengaged ears, distracted minds, and uninterested souls. If someone takes the time to try to explain something or to even open up to you about what they want to do in life, at least listen. You don't have to understand. You don't have to be knowledgeable about it or even be interested in it. All you have to do is listen and at least try to show signs of life. Contribute to the conversation because sometimes that is the only meaningful conversation they will have all day. Eventually they will stop sharing their dreams, then they stop talking and then eventually you will wonder what happened. You will wonder what happened the the happy girl that took time to have dreams and to share them. Everyone needs someone because this world can be a lonely place.

My Theory on Fruity Pebbles

     This morning I was in my mom's kitchen deciding between a bowl of Frosted Flakes or Fruity Pebbles. I ultimately decided on the Fruity Pebbles. While eating my cereal I had the most peculiar thought pop into my head. I have a way of coming up with random theories about the most ridiculous things. I was just sitting on the couch eating and I thought it was so interesting that the Fruity Pebbles were like mini colorful Frosted Flakes. I decided to make a theory about where Fruity Pebbles came from. My theory is that Frosted Flakes got together with some Froot Loops and had a baby which we now know as Fruity Pebbles. Gah. I'm weird.

Man, I'm Weird.

I think about the most weirdest things sometimes. I don't know why, but sometimes I just sit in my apartment and get caught up in these thoughts. After I am done thinking, I say to myself, "Why are you so weird!?" followed by a chuckle to myself and then I go on with my day. My most recent weird thought was about aliens. Yes, aliens. I'm not entirely sure why, but I did.
     So here it goes. I was just sitting in my apartment thinking about how aliens are portrayed to come down in these extravagant UFOs where they then start talking to the humans they have scared to death. They say "We come in peace." Now, I don't know about you, but  how believable is that? I don't know. That is besides the point. Then my mind took a turn and thought, "What if aliens traveled in giant pea pods?" That would be a an unexpected change. Then they could say, "We come in peas." Now that would provide some comic relief. Regardless I thought it was pretty funny and then realized man, I am really weird.
     I hope that provided a little laugh for your day. Now here is a visual representation of my strange thought because after I though that I IMMEDIATELY went to scavenge the interwebs to find a picture. So thankfully I am not the only weirdo that thinks like that.

Go in Peace, Earthlings.

Be selfish

   My father always seems to have the right words to say at the right time. At each new stepping stone and check point in my life he instills new ideals and thoughts in my mind to help me grow and learn. One thing he has tried to imprint in my mind is the idea that it is okay to be selfish. While growing up, most of us are taught to be selfless and make sure we do good for other people. At some point along the way we are so consumed in making other people happy that we lose ourselves and our happiness. If you spend your entire life trying to make other people happy you will inevitably fail. It is impossible to please EVERYONE! In the midst of trying to find what makes other people happy, you end up not knowing what makes you truly happy and then you end up regretting the "what if's" in life. It is pertinent that at some point in your life you know what it is like to be selfish. By being selfish, you end up finding out who you are. Imagine it as the road to self discovery.
    If you are like me, you've spend most of your life worrying about making sure other people are happy and pushed your happiness so far across the world that it has finally made a complete revolution and is now ready to be fully embraced. At this point in my life, I am making the choice to be selfish. Along this journey, I have really started to find out who I am: what I like, what I don't like, what makes me genuinely happy and what sucks all of the energy out of me. I have discovered dreams I never knew I had. I have come upon this huge desire to know what is out "there."
     Being selfish is important because it lets you be you, but it also needs to be fed by the courage to know that you are making the right decisions in this time period. This may mean that you have to make decisions that scare the living crap out of you, but one thing to remember is you cannot grow if you don't change. And that change might be actually making a decision for you.
     My father is a smart man, and I know that he has some experience in this interesting world we live in. One thing I hope to take from his spiel about being selfish is that it is okay to do something to make yourself happy. After all, everyone needs and deserves to be happy for themselves without guilt. Be selfish while you can before you live a life of regret and resentment toward that self-happiness you lost out on.

Awkward Physics

     I was sitting in physics lecture today minding my own business, drinking my water and listening to a lecture on Optics. I went to take a sip of water and when I went to lower my water bottle away from my mouth, out of NOWHERE it decided to slosh around and erupt like a water volcano out of the spout of the water bottle. Random droplets of water were everywhere: on my pants, on my shirt and somehow water even managed to find its way to my forehead. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN!? So of course my friend that was sitting next to me asked "What just happened?" I just replied, "I don't even know. Life, man. That's what happened."
     Once I got past that, later in lecture, the professor was talking about focal distances and near points. Near points are basically how close you can see something before it becomes out of focus. The average near point is about 25 cm. Of course I had to see how close my eyes were to the norm, so I moved my thumb closer and farther away until I found the shortest distance my thumb could be until it was out of focus. The same friend looks over at me, sees what I am doing, and just chuckles. I quickly put my hand down and laugh at myself.
     Now that  I think about it, I probably looked a little ridiculous moving my hand in front of my face. Just imagine a lecture room with about 75 students (give or take), and a female on the right side of the room was moving her hand ever so intently back and forth as the professor was lecturing. Yep, That would be me. I can almost guarantee that I was not the only one though! I am on a roll  today and it is not even 2 PM yet.

Anchor Tattoos

     One thing that I will never understand is why someone would get an anchor tattoo and then have a saying to go along with it that says something along the lines of  "I will never sink." Like why? Is that not the point of an anchor: to sink? If you are trying to say that you will never sink then why don't you get a freaking life raft or something, I don't know, that floats. NOT A DAMN ANCHOR. I am all about symbolism, but unless you can defy the laws of gravity, an anchor would be my last resort of something to show anti-sinkage.

My Life in a Commercial

     If you have seen the Progressive commercial where the actress has Flow as a hand puppet, you basically have a good idea of what I act like when I am at home and haven´t left the apartment for a couple days. What´s even better is the way she acts when her husband walks in. That is the epitome of how I act in situations. I make an awkward comment and act like nothing happened.

Link to Video

My First Official Post...Ever

Hello... Anyone...

     This is my first official blog post EVER and I am super duper excited to see where this blog goes. I have some really good ideas brewing.. haha get it, BREWING..coffee..tea..no..okay. I'll stick to writing on this blog and leave my comedy to myself. There is a good possibility that I will tell really corny jokes on here because what else do I have to do with my time. I suppose I will give a little introduction to what ideas I have for the potential of this whole shindig. This blog is basically just going to be a little bit of everything. I will write some of my poetry here once I slowly gather my thoughts and put them into beautiful words. I will also post pictures of my cat Garth because he is too cute for words and I think everyone should know. I will write about my Indy life and random nonsense I think people should know about it. I'll talk about my nerdness and things I am passionate about. And of course I will share the embarrassing and uncomfortably awkward situations I find myself in. Please feel free to share your thoughts, opinions, and anything else you want. No judgment necessary. I am sure there are more awkward people out there than me, but who cares. This is not a competition, but feel free to share what awkward situations you find yourself in as well!
     I am always interested to hear people's perspectives on anything. If you live in Indianapolis and want to share cool places people should know about, please feel free. Heck, share whatever you want. Also, if there is any thing that you would like to see, let me know. Other than that I will just post about different things that go on in my life, places I want to visit, things I want to accomplish, and the list goes on. The possibilities are endless and the world is my oyster. I hope this blog gives you a different perspective to this wonderful world we live in.

Go in peace, Earthlings. Enjoy the world and be you.


Onna.